Parental Anger 1 (Success in Parenting Series)
Parental Anger 1 (Success in Parenting Series)
A mum was concerned about the behaviour of her young daughter. She didn’t like what she had turned out to be. She frequently disapproved of her and criticized her angrily over her shortcomings. This made her daughter withdraw the more. She became sullen and uncommunicative with her mum but cheerful with others. She seemed happier when she was away from home.
In school, she was a good and obedient student. The mum was desperate to correct her but she had completely lost all control and influence over her daughter. She was wondering if she could use the rod to correct her instead.
Probing further, it was discovered that the mum herself had a troubled childhood and didn’t want her daughter to make the same mistakes as her. So, she pushed so hard to raise her child to conform to the pattern she wanted. However, the more she pushed, the more she lost.
Creating a model that works for you and your child is achievable. How?
- Parents often create narrow expectations for their children and become easily irritated, angry and critical when the child fails to fall in line. This happens more frequently in the areas of personality and talent. It is important to note that we cannot train our young ones to become carbon images of us, rather we can guide them to become the best of themselves.
- Secondly, as a parent, it is important that you heal from your childhood traumas. Don’t raise a child in fear and anger over your past mistakes. You can end up frustrating your child unconsciously. Fortunately, the mother in question found healing from her childhood traumas with the help of God. This helped to improve her relationship with her daughter greatly.
- Be open in your communication with your child. Let him or her understand the reason behind every instruction or guidance that you pass across. Don’t just hand it down like a law. Communicate in love and with understanding. Show wisdom and maturity in your approach, not anger and frustration.
- You don’t have to replicate the exact parenting strategy that you were brought up with. Parenting is a journey. You can learn more and drop off some things along the way.
@ Nkese Umofia
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