Is anger a profitable parenting strategy?
Is anger a profitable parenting strategy?
*A painful true-life story….*
A sister said;
One day I was busy cleaning up my house when my little child came around to fall a glass decor which broke immediately.
I got so mad at him because it was an expensive decor gifted to me by my mom.
I literally loved it so much and loved keeping it, so out of anger I cursed him saying:
(May wall crush your bone)
_In case you are surprised, well cursing is almost part of SOME Arab regular speech which they usually utter without paying attention…May God guide us all_
She said:
Years later I forget about the curse and didn’t even care about it not knowing it was already raised to heaven.
My son grew up with his siblings and he became my favorite child among others.
He was so kind to me compared to his siblings. He studied and got employed until it was time for us to prepare him for marriage.
His father use to have an old house he intended to demolish and rebuild.
My son went with his father to the apartment complex while the workers were preparing to demolish it.
In the middle of the work, my son went away from his father, only for an unattentive worker to fall a big wall on him. My son screamed briefly and then his voice disappeared.
Everyone rushed to his spot, removed pieces of rocks from his top, and waited for the paramedics to arrive and save his life as they were not able to lift his body whose bones were crushed into pieces.
His father gave me a call to inform me of my beloved son’s presence in the ICU.
I passed out immediately, and as soon as I regained my consciousness it was as if the hour I cursed him was rewound in my eyes. I wept bitterly until I passed out again.
I didn’t regain back my consciousness except at the hospital I was taken to. I requested to see my son and how I wish I didn’t see him in that condition.
I saw him at the time the heart monitoring machine stopped working and he took his agonal breathing.
I screamed and cried repeating:
How I wish he is back to break all precious decors I got.
How I wish I was dumb at the hour I cursed him.
How I wish and wish and wish that my wish will just be fulfilled.
But of what benefit is my wish now!!!
*Parents, let’s be careful of what we utter when we are angry.
We don’t know the ones that God will sign on.*
How to avoid parental anger;
Responding to a child’s offense in anger can lead to uttering the wrong words against a child, can destroy a child’s self-esteem, and can cause more harm than good.
- Correction must be motivated from a place of love with the objective of character molding. A child is like a blank sheet of paper. As parents, we write on the paper by training. However, training has to be done with love, else we tear the paper.
- Correction should be done immediately after an offense has been committed, so the child can understand why he is being punished. Don’t build up tons of offenses and lash out later in anger and frustration at the child.
- As a parent, consciously work on your temperament and seek help if needed. A few years ago, a man got so angry with his toddler that he forced the child into a washing machine and switched it on. Never manage a situation in anger. Work on your emotions.
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