What qualities and attitudes should matter most in a life partner?
What qualities and attitudes should matter most in a life partner?
A few days ago, on Monday 31st May 2022, A 39-year-old man living in Love-all street, Ikosi-Ketu, Lagos State, Niyi Adeyemo was beaten by his wife, Jumoke Bamgbola (38years) till he passed out over his refusal to give her a divorce. The marriage which was consummated in 2018 hit the rocks in 2019. She traveled to Dubai and came back early this year, insisting she needs a divorce as her boyfriend said he could not marry someone who was married with a child https://punchng.com/divorce-seeking-wife-beats-husband-to-pulp-in-lagos/?amp
News like this has become quite rampant. However, in the midst of stories such as above, there are still marriages that are thriving. No person going into marriage wants to be part of the divorce statistics. So, the question that often pops through the minds of most singles preparing for marriage is what qualities should I look for in a wife or husband?
Are you also thinking this way as you begin to ponder on the suitability of that person as your future spouse? Is he or she that special person? What should I be looking out for? How am I sure he/she ticks the boxes or is right for me?
As we look at some of these qualities and attitudes important in our to-be spouses, the question also is, am I cultivating these in my own life? As I concentrate on finding the right person, am I becoming the right person?
Oftentimes, we tend to focus on the superficial. We fall in love with beauty, charm, and charisma. These are not bad on their own. However, going beyond that, let’s play a little mind game. Imagine your prince charming or cute princess thirty or forty years from now? The beauty is not so dazzling anymore. Is there something in there that would still draw you towards him or her?
Beyond the container, is there content as well? Are you drawn to his or her character, account balance, feminine allure, and beautiful skin? What happens when the wrinkles begin to form, stretch marks from pregnancy, or extra flesh forms around the beautiful shape?
Things that stand the test of time;
As we look at the things that matter most in a marriage partner, it is important to get beyond surface issues like the looks and display in front of others.
Let’s remember that God’s word tells us that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting (Proverbs 31:30). Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart (I Samuel 16:7). Man gets easily impressed by images but the qualities that stand the test of time are more valuable.
-Character
Character is who you are when you think no one is watching. Most people look good in front of their friends, family, and associates. But it gets deeper when we begin to truly access who we are on the inside.
Character is best displayed in our daily choices and the decisions we make. It is not by the image the person seeks to convey. It takes wisdom to discern a person’s true character.
-How do we evaluate a person’s character?
-What character traits are most important?
-How do we go beyond the images and reputation on display to actually get an idea of who the person really is?
-What other attitudes are most crucial in a life partner?
Cont’d in Part 2
Success in Relationship Series @ Nkese Umofia
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